An inside look at the comical emails Bill is getting...

In case you wonder why we tend toward silliness in writing some of these blog entries, I wish to point out that it's not entirely our fault. We receive some really funny emails from nutball friends of ours, and that reality has a sort of ineluctable influence.

Here's an example to cheer you up. This is an email Bill read as he sat in Club Chemo on his first day. His reply follows.


A somber attitude, you will note, is not one of our strengths.
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SUBJECT LINE FROM J.W.:
"These cheese curds are whey far out, man..."

Oct 15 (2 days ago)

J.W. to William, me

Dear Bill:

Sorry for the subject line...I couldn't think of anything more lucid to write...

I know today is the big day; the beginning of the oh so wonderful chemo phase. I just wanted to drop in and say hello and/or howdy, and let you both know that we (M--, myself, our devotional/prayer group here at the office, my parents, my sister and bro-in law, our church, my stuffed Capt. Caveman action figure, my imaginary friend Zoozle the albino outlaw Sherpa, the GOP, the Daughters of the Confederacy, the 1996 Ashe Central graduating class MADD chapter, etc.) are praying for, and thinking about you ceaselessly.

I hope everything goes well today, and trust that you'll soldier through this just fine. If you need anything, I'm just down the road. I'm not much of a butcher, baker or candlestick maker, but I can stop by the store with the best of them. I'm about to give my yard a final mowing for this year before all the leaves get down. Do you guys need any mowing/trimming done before cold weather?

As we say in the "hood", holla atcha boy!

Hugs, moonwalks and the occasional pop n' lock,
J----
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BILL'S REPLY:


Dear J----,

I'm actually receiving chemo RIGHT NOW as I (briefly) respond; they have wi-fi at the cancer clinic. Cool.

So far, I haven't developed elongated canine teeth or rampant facial and body hair, which I was kinda counting on; Halloween's coming. Oh, well.

Thanks so much for your own prayers and those you have solicited from your posse.

Glad to see that the local MADD group is involved. Beth's substance-use-prone ex-husband once formed a group in Florida called DAMM -- "Drunks Against Mad Mothers." Don't know if it caught on.

I know what you mean by small-town NC "hoods." I hang out with one in Blowing Rock; basically old white guys like me; we do stuff like tag the dumpster back behind the Scotchman convenience store, mostly with AARP slogans... I may need you to send me some spray paint from Ashe County; the local fuzz is getting suspicious.

Hug M-- for both of us. And seriously, thanks for the prayers!

All love to you and yours,
Bill