End of Tuesday, Day 2

It's almost 7 pm, and I'm writing this from home.

Those of you who know Bill and me, know that I'm always the one wanting to pay more attention to him, and he's always the one wanting to have less attention paid to himself, so he can do his own thing. Therefore, he usually ends up watching sports at home, while I do some crazy hobby and talk to him ONLY during commercials.

Well, that whole pattern is still the deal at the hospital.

When he is sick, I become a little bit of a hovering mother hen who wants to be at his side, kind of staring at him, and continuously checking his vital sign readouts, and oxygen, and tubes, and giving him straws, and water, and juice, and bla bla bla.

And he is always kind of smiling mildly and hoping I stop staring at him and at his vital signs. hahaha

So today I had JP there to help me interpret whether Bill wanted me to be there or not. After lunch, there was about a half hour discussion between Bill and me and JP, in which I tried to find out from Bill if he wanted me to go home but didn't want to tell me that, or if he wanted me to stay, but didn't want to obligate me. You should have seen me trying to read into everything he said.

Finally, Jp took me aside and said, "Mom, I'm 100% sure that he is hinting that he wants to be alone. I know you want to mother him, but I think he just wants to sleep today."

So that made me feel less anxious about leaving the hospital and driving back home (2 hours). Okay, yeah, I felt a little bit rejected, but the same thing happened during the last surgery when he really did need some space and a lot of quiet at first. I did eventually understand that. hahah

The "do unto others" rule does NOT work when you're me. If it were me, I would never want anyone to go home, if I were in the hospital alone, and couldn't move even my arms enough to reach anything--even the TV remote-- but Bill is the opposite. He's quite the loner, if given a choice.

So we left, and I guess it feels like the right thing.

Sort of. :(

At least the pups were supremely happy to see me get home, and even as I write this, they have plastered themselves to my body, and can hardly stop kissing me. See, that's how I think BILL should be acting! (hahahah just kiddin)

So tomorrow, I GUESS I'll go back and see him for a few hours, or call him and see what he wants. The next day after that, he can't get around having company, because it's Thanksgiving, and we are all meeting there for the styrofoam take-out cafeteria turkey at lunch.

No one has said when he can come home, but it seems like he is doing so well, that I'm guessing it will be within the 5 to 7 day expected time frame. Although he had developed a fever as I was leaving. (Yet another reason I didn't wanna go!)

I'll write more tomorrow after we see him.

Thank you yet again for reading all this! Galaxies of love to you all!