Sunday! I'm Blogging on Sunday!

Miraculously, I didn't forget to blog on time this week.

That's because I've invented a new way to torture myself, which torture has to do with why I would be typing the blog in a timely fashion. But more on that later.

Bill's next medical adventure is Wednesday, August 10th. (Our friend Jim G. was trying to invent a term for the day after the day after tomorrow, and he decided the term should be "tomorrow yonder." I fully agree with this idea.) Bill will have his blood tested and possibly get a magnesium drip tomorrow yonder.

Speaking of Jim G, Jim and his amazing family hosted Bill for 18 holes of golf Thursday, as part of a tournament to benefit Ashe County Memorial Hospital.

Bill golfed EIGHTEEN HOLES!!!!!

Bill said he pictured his days as a mere shredded scarecrow husk of a human (okay, that was MY non-melodramatic extended adjective) at Duke Hospital, and he thought of how far he'd come that he could golf 18 holes, when his chance of cancer remission was only 3%, and he's hit that 3%! (I don't know if he hit 3% of his golf balls correctly, however. But who cares about math.)

He isn't feeling completely great, though. But nothing outstandingly terrible. He said to tell you he wishes he could get a bright yellow 2012 Fiat 500 car, but I told him my mom would get mad if we put that on the blog because it is not fiscally conservative to purchase cars that are not extremely used, saith she. So pretend I didn't say that. And don't tell my mom about the Fiat; she doesn't have internet.

The next time I post here will be to update you on the Wednesday blood tests. Also, Wake Forest hasn't called to set up that scan that we are dreading with our entire beings. We aren't calling them, either, so we might have to man-up and get that scheduled. Right now, though, it's fun to pretend: "WHAT scan?"

Here ends the information about Bill. If you read on, you will only discover the new form of self-torture that has caused me to blog on time this week.

I read that a person burns a lot more calories standing than sitting, so as part of a sudden state of panic I have entered as a result of a silly and obvious LIE the bathroom scale tried to tell me this morning, I am no longer sitting down except for two 5-minute intervals per day.

I have moved my laptop to the kitchen bar and am standing up alllllllllllll day long. I have used up my two 5-minute sit-downs, and I now wish to perish. This is the single worst idea I have ever had, and that is saying something.

Tip: Computer games are no longer fun.

Anyway, because I can't sit down, I have to keep DOING things, so I thought of the blog. Thus it is timely for once.

However, if you knew the amount of leg, back, front, side, skeletal, and psychological pain I am experiencing at this very moment as I type this, you would understand why Bill just yelled at me, "Beth! YOU ARE CRAZY. GO SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW! YOU'RE MAKING MY BACK HURT!"

He loves me, though.

Even though I am a little bit nuts.

And a little bit fat.

Okay, more than a little bit fat.

Okay, fat.

Okay, the end.

Till tomorrow yonder!