We've Seen Better Days

I haven't posted every day, because I didn't think there was enough info to keep you awake.

But since it's Sunday, and Father's Day, here's an update:

Our heroic cowboy is being brave, but problems are getting to him.

1. Most of his hair is gone, along with half the volume of his beard, moustache, and eyebrows. He's scared to tug on his eyelashes. I tugged on his arm hair, and out came a clump of arm hair, so no more doing that. It's surprisingly traumatic, even for him, for hair to fall out. More than vanity. Just stinkin' weird!

2. He is sleeping a LOT. Very fatigued.

3. He is kind of yellow or yellowish-white. When he looks at himself in the mirror, he gets hungry for egg salad. Take it from there.

4. Upchucking in the mornings--automatic style. Involuntary. Not cool. Carries bucket. This morning, he was so miserable from the involuntary contractions of his abdomen that he was telling Jesus to come get him.

5. When this all comes together, he feels depressed, as you can imagine.

6. Has some serious new bleeding, a lot, and that is scaring us both. He doesn't really want to investigate it. His logic (which is almost solid): "I already have cancer. I don't want to know if I have more. All they can do is chemo, and they're already doing it. I refuse further surgery. And I have every right to say no to their offers of tests and procedures." He's right. Tough choices.

7. In just 3 days, Wednesday, he gets another WHOLE DOSE of the red devil plus Gemzar. In the condition he is in, I can't imagine how he's going to stand it. I will be beside him throughout all of it.

8. But for happy news, he had a great Father's Day, and is stretched out on the sofa watching his beloved golf. And he's hungry tonight, so I made him spaghetti, one of his favorites. See? It's not all bad!

Thank you for caring, praying, following--thank you always. Your love is rowing his boat, and he's hanging in there!

THANK YOU!

So much love.

Bethie and Cowboy Bill