TOTAL DUKE SHOCKER!

YES, this is totally SHOCKING news which, after reading, if you didn't already have the impetus to RUN LIKE HELL when you hear the word Duke within 500 miles of the word Medical, you WILL have said impetus, and a cowboy-sized case of it, to boot!

Duke Medical's High Wizard of All Things Urinarious ..... forgot ..... FORGOT ..... F-O-R-G-O-T....to tell us that Bill was found to have a PENICILLIN-RESISTANT URINARY TRACT INFECTION when they tested him at Duke on May 4th.

Oh.

My.

Shocked and Shimmering.

Mind.

Here's how I found out!

I was sitting on the sofa indulging in my medical googling obsession, and I thought, "Hey, I haven't checked to see if the Duke medical records people have posted the results of our May 4th visit." (See, there's this link they give to patients at Duke, and they put SOME, just a few, of the patients' medical reports at this link. Usually, they don't put up the good stuff, but I still thought I should see what was there).

Well, there were four reports up marked "new" so I opened the first one.

It showed the results of Bill's urinary test. (After a cystectomy, they can't do a urinalysis without a really complex procedure involving a catheter that goes into Bill's side about 24 inches deep, in order to test urine directly from the kidneys.)

So I read the results and kind of shrieked.

"WHAT????????????" is what I shrieked.

"Bill! Go to the Duke link and look at this urinalysis report! Can I possibly be reading this correctly???"

So Bill opens the page and, after he reads it, out comes the second, "WHAT????????????" of the day.

All this time, Bill has been walking around with an infection that is resistant to standard penicillins! Isn't that called a superbug or something? Isn't that what people pick up in hospitals and can't it be FATAL????

Oh, if I knew what swooning was, I would be doing it right now.

So on the report, it says, YOU MUST CONTACT INFECTION CONTROL IMMEDIATELY. CALL THIS NUMBER: and it gives a number.

So I call that number and the woman answers, "Infection control." So I tell her the story and she says, "I don't know why you're calling here. You have to take that up with your doctor."

I said, "I'm calling here because the report says to call this number immediately. Have I dialed the right number?" I read the number to her.

"Yes, that's the number, but I have no idea why it's on your report."

"You're saying, it's a mistake that it's on the report? Your number?"

"Yes."

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh-kayyyyyyy, I thought.

Nice MEDICAL INSTITUTION THEY'RE RUNNING OVER THERE.

So I called our main Bladder Dude's office and told the story to the nurse. She said she'd call right back. In a minute, she calls back and basically says, "Oooops."

So they are FAXing a prescription for some newly-invented medicine that can fight this strong bacteria Bill has, and he will start it tonight.

Wow.

Anyone want to entrust their life into my little half-baked googling fingers?

I'm pretty much cheaper than Duke and....on a good day....perhaps a trifle more reliable?

And THAT is a frightening thought.