Nothing new, I guess...

A lot of people have been asking us what's going on, since there isn't much on the blog lately.

The answer is that sort of NUTHIN is going on! So that's what the blog says: nuthin.


Well, ONE thing has had a detrimental effect on my ability to write on the blog or do much of anything at all: Ol'Diamond Lil the cowgirl has been having some unexpectedly rough times psychologically, partly due to the upset about the two new cancer-threat findings, and then getting used to a whole new medical system to deal with (Wake Forest and new doctors and protocols and nurses and parking garages, etc.) and...(worst part)... all of that mixed in with having ALLLLL those people come to stay here at the SAME TIME, thinking it was a good idea for us?

When I said to my mom,(one of the three-week visitors), "But it's hard, mom, dealing with this cancer and all the fears, and stress and now a lot of company, and..."

"Oh, cancer, shmancer! That's a stupid excuse! I'm sick of you two acting like it's the end of the world. Lots of people have cancer. Grow up! Get over it. I don't ever again want to hear CANCER as an excuse for you and Bill grovelling for sympathy with your ridiculous poor-me fake depressions! Now START acting CHEERFUL, dammit!"

Uhhhhhh, wow. Okayyyyyy.....

One day I will learn to talk back, but all I know now is to just keep my mouth shut so things don't get worse.

[And if you ever see my mom in person, we both beg you to think of something other to say than to tell her I included this vignette in the blog.]

So I guess what can I politely say about having that many house guests--several of whom didn't like the other ones--and one of whom's approach to any disagreement was to storm into her bedroom and immediately start packing up her suitcases and threaten to go home and "NEVER COME BACK!" And the tears and pleading it took from me to smoothe that over so the whole family didn't blow apart, and then lying awake at night (when I wasn't helping Bill with 2 a.m. equipment failures) trying to figure out how so much negativity could have come into our house at the WORST possible time for us.

So I'm still not honestly recovered from that. Seriously? I think I have something along the lines of post-traumatic stress disorder. Kinda funny to say, but something is really wrong with me and my feelings, and I need to get over it. Once I do, Im sure I will be posting more.

As for the calendar: On Thursday the 24th, we go to Wake for what could be a minor--or MAJOR--finding about the two "areas of suspicion" they found in his abdomen. We have 20 minutes slotted for a heart-to-heart conversation with Dr. Torti about Bill's future, and how to attack these two new "enemy forces" in his abdomen. You KNOW I will have a post up that evening with all the details on that.

I sometimes worry that I'm boring you when I put up posts where there is no new or thrilling content--but I'll try to be better, once I feel better. Right now, my "feelings" seem like they were body-slammed by a semi. So when the bruises subside...

Love to you all and gratitude for how much you care, and how beautiful the garden of your love looks from our windows...

The Cowpunchers Drennan