Home (Finally) From the PET Scan--No News Yet, But We're Scared

Howdy.

We just got home from a nearly all-day trip to Winston Salem for the PET scan.

Strangely, we're both really kind of scared or freaked out or something now.

Everything was fine--no one was nervous--until Bill started talking this morning about the PET scan being the most intense look inside him, by far, of all the tests he's had, and about the "what if" factor--like, what if it finds something totally unexpected, and that if anything were to find a surprise terrible thing, it would certainly be THIS test, more than any other he's had.

Oh my gosh.

It was like a switch flipped in my brain.

Suddenly I was terrified.

And while he wouldn't call himself "terrified", he certainly got at least 10 times more worried than he's been before, ever.

I don't know how to explain it, but we both just kinda simultaneously went to our panic corners in our thoughts, and now we're sitting here all bummed out, wondering what this scan result will be.

Either we freaked each other out, or we both subliminally did the math and realize that, because this test will really be the first time they've come even close to being able to see really micro-itzy-bitzy metastasis stuff in his SOFT TISSUE (PET scans tests soft tissue, not bone like the bone scan), then this is the most dangerous moment we've experienced so far, as far as waiting to hear test results.

We've just never really been scared before like this...probably SHOULD'VE been, but never were.

I know I'm not being...or I am being...or I'm just saying one thing repeatedly, or not even making sense but.

WE'RE SCARED.

I'm scared to the point of stupid!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HELP! RUN AWAY! BOO! ACK! YIKES! WAHHHHHH!

It was just one too many tests.

One too many goll-dern tests.

Well, they gave us a CD with all the pictures on it, but warned us that we might get upset if we look at it because a lot of things will show up as problem areas, in bright colors, even though they are not problem areas, and we won't know which ones are okay and which aren't and (stopped listening........AIN'T NO WAY I'M LOOKING AT THAT CD!)

So I guess we're just waiting for the phone to ring tomorrow. And trying to think about other subjects.

Ummmmmmmmmmmm. Oh, here's one!