Kwap! A Little More Bad News for The Cowboy.

I walked in the house today from seeing my analyst (Me? Needs an analyst? As naturally sane as I am? Yes, I know it must be nearly IMPOSSIBLE to believe!) hahahah.

Whoops. The blog is about the cowboy, not Beth's psychoanalysis (emphasis on psycho.)

Okay.

So Bill scares the LIVING KUMQUATS right OUT OF ME by saying, as I walk in the door, "Beth. Come in here. Hold my hand. Sit down. Something has happened. Wake Forest called."

(Beth side note: And who do I call to get back the ten years he took off my life by saying THAT?)

So I sit down beside him. I go, "I really have to SIT DOWN for this?"

He goes, "Yes, you do."

Oh, Jesus, Mary and Oprah Gail Winfrey, World's First Black Billionaire!!!!

He scared me to DEATH!

And lucky for you, I won't repeat the same technique on YOU, because I'm gonna tell you UP FRONT that it wasn't THAT BAD, what he had to tell me.

Okay. So Wake Forest called, from Dr. Torti's office. Torti's assistant Dr. Stint called. She said that today, they took his radiology pictures over to the people who were supposed to do the radiofrequency tumor ablation (blow the crap out of his tumor by radio waves), and those people said, basically, "Not on a thirty-day drunk would we even try that."

Well, probably not those exact words.

They said something like (per Bill), "We are not even going to consider attempting ablating a tumor that close to his heart."

OMG.

So, Dr. Stint is going to call back tomorrow and tell us more, but for now, they are saying that, unfortunately, Bill has to have a weird procedure in which they install a big THING FROM THE BLACK LAGOON down his throat, and go through that, down his esophagus to enter sideways into the tumor and try to remove it without damaging his heart.

Yeah.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL COMFORTING CONCEPT, GUYS AT WAKE FOREST!

Anyway, Bill is now rather upset, understandably. He was distressed that I wasn't here when the call came, because he likes me to handle those calls. It's kinda my forte, medical things, and medical things upset him, whereas I can remain calm in the face of medical drama.

But when the call came in, I was sitting in my analyst's Jungianly-upholstered patient chair, waiting for her to be 20 minutes late for our appointment.

So, I will post again tomorrow I guess, when Dr. Stint calls back with details. This procedure MAY involve an overnight at the hospital now.

But to me, there's a silver lining.

Bill's case is now handed over to a Wake Forest Gastroenterologist Oncologist, so now we can get all our Gastroenterology tests done at Wake, instead of in Boone ( Wake is my preference, not Bill's, because when they do things in Boone, on machines built in the 1920s, the resulting images tend not to show up on the 21st century machines at Wake Forest Cancer Center.)

So that's today's curve ball. Thank you for caring enough to read all this. We love you. Cowboy Billy and Diamond Lily