All is well here. Bill is fine. No problems of any kind. Hooray! (Except having 60-some essay exams to grade.)
I'm quite sad today, though. But only because a bunch of freaky things happened in the last 48 hours, none of which had to do with Bill.
Somewhere in my past, I guess I must have jumped into a time machine that wasn't working properly, and have accidentally ended up in a science fiction novel, scrambling over the ruins of a dystopian civilization, in an effort to evade a variety of scientifically postulated but highly improbable laws of nature.
This too shall pass.
And I have no idea where the commas go in "This too shall pass."
See you next Sunday.
xoxo
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Bill's Great! Plus: World's Weirdest 2-Min Video
Bill feels great, looks great, is great. He hasn't had any weird symptoms this week, and his Gators won the football game yesterday, while he ate home-made tacos and brownies.
He went off to church this morning wearing an orange and blue striped tie.
I said, "Why you wearin' that tie?"
He said, "Gators beat Tennessee."
I said, "Oh, you're celebrating?"
He said, "No, I want to rub it in for the Tennessee fans."
I said, "At CHURCH? Wow. Seems to me if you were really a Christian, you'd wear a Tennessee tie to commiserate."
He said, "Tennessee people don't wear ties."
No, he didn't really say that last line. I think he said something like, "Well if YOU were really a Christian, you'd be coming to church WITH me to give all the Tennessee people kleenexes once they see my tie."
Subject change: I'm writing on here every Sunday now, in case anyone wants to check. I said I was going to, then I forgot, then I remembered, then forgot, etc. But now I really am. Probably.
And for your dose of humor today, here's a Youtube video you can click on. It is completely clean, inoffensive on every level, just pure funny and BIZARRE. And it even has a little religion in it, if you look at one of the pictures on the back wall. I think these two people are Irish, though the song is in Spanish and has Russian subtitles, for the ecumenically-minded among you.
Also? Pray for Bill, because I want to learn to do what these people in the video are doing.
He went off to church this morning wearing an orange and blue striped tie.
I said, "Why you wearin' that tie?"
He said, "Gators beat Tennessee."
I said, "Oh, you're celebrating?"
He said, "No, I want to rub it in for the Tennessee fans."
I said, "At CHURCH? Wow. Seems to me if you were really a Christian, you'd wear a Tennessee tie to commiserate."
He said, "Tennessee people don't wear ties."
No, he didn't really say that last line. I think he said something like, "Well if YOU were really a Christian, you'd be coming to church WITH me to give all the Tennessee people kleenexes once they see my tie."
Subject change: I'm writing on here every Sunday now, in case anyone wants to check. I said I was going to, then I forgot, then I remembered, then forgot, etc. But now I really am. Probably.
And for your dose of humor today, here's a Youtube video you can click on. It is completely clean, inoffensive on every level, just pure funny and BIZARRE. And it even has a little religion in it, if you look at one of the pictures on the back wall. I think these two people are Irish, though the song is in Spanish and has Russian subtitles, for the ecumenically-minded among you.
Also? Pray for Bill, because I want to learn to do what these people in the video are doing.
MAKE SURE YOUR SOUND IS ON! THAT IS MAJORLY IMPORTANT:
Monday, September 13, 2010
Better News About Bill...whew!
This morning Bill feels a little better. He is still going to teach his classes today. But he doesn't feel exactly right.
His abdominal pain continues. It's still that mix of nausea and--well, last time he said it felt like he swallowed broken glass--now he says it feels like he drank lye.
He shouldn't know what either ONE of those two things feels like. But he walks away when I ask him too many questions (meaning more than one question), so that's all I could get for you.
He can eat, though. So that's good.
Except for WHAT he eats.
(Shhhhhh. I didn't tell you this: he bought some SPAM! What???????????)
Gee, I wonder what could be making his stomach feel like he ate poison? (Isn't Spam made out of recycled car parts?)
But we did have a really good thing happen this week! A SRTTW! (Spectacular Return to the World) when Bill finally felt the all-clear for going to a little mid-week party moment with six of our pals.
We pretty much spent the whole evening laughing, then trying to eat Italian food in between laughing, then doing the Heimlich maneuver on each other while laughing, then laughing some more, then trying to drive home while laughing, getting home laughing, brushing teeth laughing, going to sleep laughing. Other than that, it was a somber occasion.
As for the dog photo in the previous post--that was unrelated to anything about Bill, and had to do with me not knowing how to post pictures on Twitter.
See, our dog Midey Mulligan the Boston Terrier has his own Twitter page in which he writes about his daily life--playing with crickets till they fall asleep, and telling about all the naughty things his evil brother Jack the Poodle does, such as digging up fish that were intended to be garden fertilizer, then biting their heads off (as seen in photo) then throwing up on quilts for the rest of the day to the delight of Mom (me).
If you're desperate for humor, and I mean HURTIN for it, you can see Midey's daily posts at http://twitter.com/MideyMulligan
Love to you all for caring!
Us
His abdominal pain continues. It's still that mix of nausea and--well, last time he said it felt like he swallowed broken glass--now he says it feels like he drank lye.
He shouldn't know what either ONE of those two things feels like. But he walks away when I ask him too many questions (meaning more than one question), so that's all I could get for you.
He can eat, though. So that's good.
Except for WHAT he eats.
(Shhhhhh. I didn't tell you this: he bought some SPAM! What???????????)
Gee, I wonder what could be making his stomach feel like he ate poison? (Isn't Spam made out of recycled car parts?)
But we did have a really good thing happen this week! A SRTTW! (Spectacular Return to the World) when Bill finally felt the all-clear for going to a little mid-week party moment with six of our pals.
We pretty much spent the whole evening laughing, then trying to eat Italian food in between laughing, then doing the Heimlich maneuver on each other while laughing, then laughing some more, then trying to drive home while laughing, getting home laughing, brushing teeth laughing, going to sleep laughing. Other than that, it was a somber occasion.
As for the dog photo in the previous post--that was unrelated to anything about Bill, and had to do with me not knowing how to post pictures on Twitter.
See, our dog Midey Mulligan the Boston Terrier has his own Twitter page in which he writes about his daily life--playing with crickets till they fall asleep, and telling about all the naughty things his evil brother Jack the Poodle does, such as digging up fish that were intended to be garden fertilizer, then biting their heads off (as seen in photo) then throwing up on quilts for the rest of the day to the delight of Mom (me).
If you're desperate for humor, and I mean HURTIN for it, you can see Midey's daily posts at http://twitter.com/MideyMulligan
Love to you all for caring!
Us
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Oops. Missed Posting Sunday. Will Post on Monday!
Billy Boy was ill today.
Big frown!
I'll post in detail tomorrow.
Nothing where we had to go to a hospital, but in the gray zone--meaning I think he should be seen, but he doesn't.
Will post in the morning. Sorry to be late. THANK YOU for checking and lovin' our boy!
xoxoxoxoxoxox
Big frown!
I'll post in detail tomorrow.
Nothing where we had to go to a hospital, but in the gray zone--meaning I think he should be seen, but he doesn't.
Will post in the morning. Sorry to be late. THANK YOU for checking and lovin' our boy!
xoxoxoxoxoxox
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Billy, Bedbugs, and Bowling
So I'm posting every Sunday now. Even though there's not much drama. But this way, if some drama WERE to drift through, you would know about it by the following Sunday.
We missed Hurricane Earl this week. It passed by North Carolina and headed up toward New York. With all that wind, I was hoping it might help New York by blowing all the bed bugs out of there.
But I guess that's not a very polite thing to wish on the Canadians.
Canadian Mom: "Mon Dieu! Qu'est que ce all deez leetle teeny creetures dat just blew in and can lives for a year wizout food?"
Canadian's son: "They're from New York. They're called supermodels."
But anyway, Bill taught a whole week of classes with no apparatus breakages. He was so happy.
On Friday afternoon, we suddenly got the idea to go bowling at a real bowling alley in Boone. (I have to specify "real" bowling alley because so many of you may have Wii "pretend" bowling in your living rooms, where you throw an imaginary ball at imaginary pins on the TV screen, and when your ball repeatedly lands in the imaginary gutter, you yell out imaginary cuss words.)
Bill and I were absolutely HORRIBLE bowlers. In fact, I was so bad that my ball once actually went into the gutter of the lane NEXT to ours.
Not only were we bad, but we both blew out our kneecaps playing only one game.
Anyone reading this who has a need to engage in a sports-related activity that will make you feel vastly superior to your fellow human beings (me and Bill), consider meeting us at the bowling alley next Friday at 3. That's when the place is almost empty.
Well, call us first to make sure our kneecaps are working by then.
Love to all,
Diamond Lilly and Wild Mister Billy
We missed Hurricane Earl this week. It passed by North Carolina and headed up toward New York. With all that wind, I was hoping it might help New York by blowing all the bed bugs out of there.
But I guess that's not a very polite thing to wish on the Canadians.
Canadian Mom: "Mon Dieu! Qu'est que ce all deez leetle teeny creetures dat just blew in and can lives for a year wizout food?"
Canadian's son: "They're from New York. They're called supermodels."
But anyway, Bill taught a whole week of classes with no apparatus breakages. He was so happy.
On Friday afternoon, we suddenly got the idea to go bowling at a real bowling alley in Boone. (I have to specify "real" bowling alley because so many of you may have Wii "pretend" bowling in your living rooms, where you throw an imaginary ball at imaginary pins on the TV screen, and when your ball repeatedly lands in the imaginary gutter, you yell out imaginary cuss words.)
Bill and I were absolutely HORRIBLE bowlers. In fact, I was so bad that my ball once actually went into the gutter of the lane NEXT to ours.
Not only were we bad, but we both blew out our kneecaps playing only one game.
Anyone reading this who has a need to engage in a sports-related activity that will make you feel vastly superior to your fellow human beings (me and Bill), consider meeting us at the bowling alley next Friday at 3. That's when the place is almost empty.
Well, call us first to make sure our kneecaps are working by then.
Love to all,
Diamond Lilly and Wild Mister Billy
Post Coming Later Today
It's Sunday! So I'll be posting something by the end of the day!
Thanks for checkin in, podnuh!
Thanks for checkin in, podnuh!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Belly Aches and Tom Robbins
Things were going pretty well until this past week when Wild Willybob Drennan came down with a bellyache.
That's what he calls it.
Which drives me crazy.
Because neither of the words belly nor ache are anywhere near specific enough to allow me to google-search a cure for him!
And when I start to "question him down," he gets mad purty dang quick.
Me: Okay, what do you mean by "belly"? Point to where you mean. Is it above or below your bellybutton, closer to your belly button or your ribs? Is it more in the center or the left or right, and when you say "ache" do you mean sharp or dull and if you say "sharp" do you mean like little pirhanas biting you or more like one piece of broken glass would feel if you might have swallowed it, or is it more like a burning cement block lowered slowly onto your stomach and by "stomach" would you mean literally your stomach as an organ, or would you mean your abdominal area in general and if...."
Wild Billy: BETH! STOP! YOU HAVE TO STOP!
So being married as long as we have (21 years) and having developed certain skills with which to cope with the other's preferences, we rigged up a solution.
I can ask him ONE TIME per day how he feels, and for his answer, he has to use descriptive terms for no less than one minute.
That's our deal.
Okay, so you ARE on my side on this one, aren't you? You, too, want to know what I've gotten out of him so far, and "belly ache" would NOT do it for you, am I right? Wayyyyy too vague, right?
So here it is: It hurts enough to wake him up at night and goes on for some hours. It never really goes away. It hurts more after he eats. It feels like this:(and you can guess which one of us came up with this little description on the multiple-choice questionnaire I administered verbally this morning) It feels like he swallowed a bowl full of little pieces of broken glass and like they are rolling around in there halfway between his belly button and his ribs, in the very middle.
See? Now I DID get the kind of detail I wanted.
But I'm getting NO google results with the search: "feels like ate bowl of broken glass".
What!? People don't eat bowls full of broken glass and publish the results on the internet?
As for Tom Robbins...(who, speaking of cowpokes, did write the novel-turned-movie "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" starring Uma Thurman and Keanu Reaves)...
TURNS OUT HE IS MY COUSIN!
He was even born right here in Blowing Rock and lived here a while.
Here endeth this blog post.
And if you are waiting for me to somehow make a connection between Tom Robbins and Bill's bellyache, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don't think it's possible.
Except that When Cowboys Eat Broken Glass, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues.
(How was that?)
Love to you. Thanks for checking on us.
D. Lil
That's what he calls it.
Which drives me crazy.
Because neither of the words belly nor ache are anywhere near specific enough to allow me to google-search a cure for him!
And when I start to "question him down," he gets mad purty dang quick.
Me: Okay, what do you mean by "belly"? Point to where you mean. Is it above or below your bellybutton, closer to your belly button or your ribs? Is it more in the center or the left or right, and when you say "ache" do you mean sharp or dull and if you say "sharp" do you mean like little pirhanas biting you or more like one piece of broken glass would feel if you might have swallowed it, or is it more like a burning cement block lowered slowly onto your stomach and by "stomach" would you mean literally your stomach as an organ, or would you mean your abdominal area in general and if...."
Wild Billy: BETH! STOP! YOU HAVE TO STOP!
So being married as long as we have (21 years) and having developed certain skills with which to cope with the other's preferences, we rigged up a solution.
I can ask him ONE TIME per day how he feels, and for his answer, he has to use descriptive terms for no less than one minute.
That's our deal.
Okay, so you ARE on my side on this one, aren't you? You, too, want to know what I've gotten out of him so far, and "belly ache" would NOT do it for you, am I right? Wayyyyy too vague, right?
So here it is: It hurts enough to wake him up at night and goes on for some hours. It never really goes away. It hurts more after he eats. It feels like this:(and you can guess which one of us came up with this little description on the multiple-choice questionnaire I administered verbally this morning) It feels like he swallowed a bowl full of little pieces of broken glass and like they are rolling around in there halfway between his belly button and his ribs, in the very middle.
See? Now I DID get the kind of detail I wanted.
But I'm getting NO google results with the search: "feels like ate bowl of broken glass".
What!? People don't eat bowls full of broken glass and publish the results on the internet?
As for Tom Robbins...(who, speaking of cowpokes, did write the novel-turned-movie "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" starring Uma Thurman and Keanu Reaves)...
TURNS OUT HE IS MY COUSIN!
He was even born right here in Blowing Rock and lived here a while.
Here endeth this blog post.
And if you are waiting for me to somehow make a connection between Tom Robbins and Bill's bellyache, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don't think it's possible.
Except that When Cowboys Eat Broken Glass, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues.
(How was that?)
Love to you. Thanks for checking on us.
D. Lil
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Wild Bill and the Croc
That lovely poster should pretty much tell you what we're STILL doing for fun as summer winds down for us (there's a Lake Placid 1, Lake Placid 2, and Lake Placid 3--so far...) (and yes, the above-shown paleontologist did lose her cell phone signal at a key moment).
On a website devoted to reviews of very bad movies, I found this list which was written to help you fully enjoy the first Lake Placid film:
THINGS TO WATCH FOR IN LAKE PLACID 1:
- 5 mins - Sort of a large and still lake for beavers, oh never mind, they're just mops of hair pulled along on a string.
- 13 mins - What sort of firearm is that again?
- 18 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A SHERIFF!
- 26 mins - That pickup line worked? I am going to Maine...
- 32 mins - Whole lot of love here, whole lot of love.
- 35 mins - It carefully gutted and ate the moose?
- 44 mins - Well, it just ate the only Grizzly living in Maine...
- 52 mins - I never thought I'd hear Betty White say that.
- 61 mins - Let me remind you, it recently tried to eat your helicopter.
- 69 mins - Kelly was submerged for just under one minute. Not bad for someone who does not exercise and is full of adrenaline.
BUT APART FROM OUR SUMMER AMUSEMENT...
In what, to me, amounts to the most heroic act so far by our cowboy Wild Billy Drennan, he--Wild Bill--will be returning to teaching at Appalachian State University this week!
Yes, he is nervous--about certain possible things that could happen while he is in front of the class--and I'm wringing my hands on his behalf, wishing he hadn't decided to keep teaching.
But I am in such admiration of him that it defies vocabulary. I am the scaredest person in the world, and he is the bravest man I have ever seen. He simply awes me.
And the students sitting in the class will have no idea that they are witnessing something miraculous--no idea what he has been through and what it has cost him to be there--as he talks to them about the "First Half of the British Lit Survey--Beowulf through Milton."
Actually, in that sense, maybe we should all go up to the top of this post and look at that poster again.
In what isn't THAT big a stretch of the metaphorical imagination--that poster actually IS kinda like our Cowboy's life--he's swimming for it--and something big actually did try to get him.
And he got away.
And his students will think he's just another Prof standing there with a syllabus.
Glory to God. It's so amazing.
Love to you all.
Yes, he is nervous--about certain possible things that could happen while he is in front of the class--and I'm wringing my hands on his behalf, wishing he hadn't decided to keep teaching.
But I am in such admiration of him that it defies vocabulary. I am the scaredest person in the world, and he is the bravest man I have ever seen. He simply awes me.
And the students sitting in the class will have no idea that they are witnessing something miraculous--no idea what he has been through and what it has cost him to be there--as he talks to them about the "First Half of the British Lit Survey--Beowulf through Milton."
Actually, in that sense, maybe we should all go up to the top of this post and look at that poster again.
In what isn't THAT big a stretch of the metaphorical imagination--that poster actually IS kinda like our Cowboy's life--he's swimming for it--and something big actually did try to get him.
And he got away.
And his students will think he's just another Prof standing there with a syllabus.
Glory to God. It's so amazing.
Love to you all.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
THANKS for checking: no big news...except JARHEAD.
Apart from continuing to enjoy movies in which people's cell phones lose signal in deserts while monsters pop up in the back seat of their almost-out-of-gas cars, we have nothing much going on.
But to amuse you, because of our thankfulness that you came here to check on the cowpoke, I will put something below, from the news--something that you will probably enjoy knowing about:
This little bear in Florida--nicknamed Jarhead, for obvious reasons--got his little head stuck in a jar for at least ten days. He almost died because he couldn't eat or drink, but the animal dudes finally anesthetized his mother and got hold of him and pulled the jar off.
He's fine now.
We like good medical outcomes.
Love to all,
Your Cowpals
But to amuse you, because of our thankfulness that you came here to check on the cowpoke, I will put something below, from the news--something that you will probably enjoy knowing about:
This little bear in Florida--nicknamed Jarhead, for obvious reasons--got his little head stuck in a jar for at least ten days. He almost died because he couldn't eat or drink, but the animal dudes finally anesthetized his mother and got hold of him and pulled the jar off.
He's fine now.
We like good medical outcomes.
Love to all,
Your Cowpals
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