Bill got the first installment of round 4 today, and tomorrow gets the Big Drug in an all-day drip.
They've changed what he does for his nausea, and now it's a 24-hour plan. He also now has the ability to go into the clinic any time he feels bad, and they will give him fluids, or anti-nausea meds, or check his blood, etc., so he can now have treatments in between treatments.
To me, this was a relief. While they were talking, I could see Bill cogitating about how would that work with his teaching schedule, but he was told today that if he doesn't make it through all the chemo, THAT could be life-threatening, and he should be much more willing to miss classes and rest more so that he doesn't get so close to quitting chemo as he did this time.
I could tell he wasn't agreeing about missing classes, just listening politely. Bad cowboy!
The great thing he heard was that he was doing "spectacularly" well, according to his blood tests. The doctor said MOST patients have quit this regimen by this point; very few get to round 4 because the drugs are so rough, and that it is surprising that he is doing so remarkably well. Dr. Torti would like to get him through 6 rounds, ending sometime in May.
I'm typing this from our basement, where we will be living for the next three weeks. We're having our floors done in the "house" part of the house, and a couple other things that have needed doing for about four years now. Ooops. Of course, having all of these things happening at the same time is sort of like living our lives in the spin cycle of a giant washing machine.
But we're adapting. For example, I put a roast in the drier last night and set it on "high" for four hours, and it came out great. But after that, I dried Bill's tee shirts in there, and ever since Bill got dressed this morning, the dogs won't stop following him around.
This, too, shall pass.
Love yall!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Tuesday Morning
Bill is finally, FINALLY, feeling halfway decent again, and of course this is the week he goes in for the Slam-a-thon chemicals on Thursday and Friday.
He said that yesterday at school, he was able to walk from his car to his office without stopping to catch his breath.
He still looks yellow, and that upsets him, but it's not a bright yellow--more like a light watercolor wash of faded sunflower.
Meanwhile, it's been snowing here, with ice and fog. Lovely!
AND last night the news announced that radioactive iodine from Japan has been found in Florida water, and in North and South Carolina! They're sure it's from Japan because it's half-life is 8 days and only Japanese iodine could fit that timeline. Don't ask me to explain that. haha
ALSO, in case you're not bummed out for the day, yet, scientists have found 42 areas in the U.S. where strange illnesses are extremely concentrated. One of them was in North Carolina--Camp LeJeune--an amazingly high number of cases of male breast cancer. You should look at the map. California is especially loaded with these hot spots of weird diseases.
WHAT?!
Okay. I'd better stop typing and come back when I can be nice.
Oh, wait. I came across a funny quote yesterday, which will end this on a better note. (If you're an atheist, probably just skip this one): "Quit telling God about those big problems, and start telling those problems about your big God."
Dear Radioactive Iodine: There's this Guy I know? And He's pretty BIG, and He is gonna give you WHAT FOR if you set up shop in my thyroid gland!"
Love to all!
B&B
He said that yesterday at school, he was able to walk from his car to his office without stopping to catch his breath.
He still looks yellow, and that upsets him, but it's not a bright yellow--more like a light watercolor wash of faded sunflower.
Meanwhile, it's been snowing here, with ice and fog. Lovely!
AND last night the news announced that radioactive iodine from Japan has been found in Florida water, and in North and South Carolina! They're sure it's from Japan because it's half-life is 8 days and only Japanese iodine could fit that timeline. Don't ask me to explain that. haha
ALSO, in case you're not bummed out for the day, yet, scientists have found 42 areas in the U.S. where strange illnesses are extremely concentrated. One of them was in North Carolina--Camp LeJeune--an amazingly high number of cases of male breast cancer. You should look at the map. California is especially loaded with these hot spots of weird diseases.
WHAT?!
Okay. I'd better stop typing and come back when I can be nice.
Oh, wait. I came across a funny quote yesterday, which will end this on a better note. (If you're an atheist, probably just skip this one): "Quit telling God about those big problems, and start telling those problems about your big God."
Dear Radioactive Iodine: There's this Guy I know? And He's pretty BIG, and He is gonna give you WHAT FOR if you set up shop in my thyroid gland!"
Love to all!
B&B
Friday, March 25, 2011
Friday: Onco Doctor Talked Mean to Our Cowboy!
We went to the chemo clinic yesterday, but only for Bill to have blood work done.
He asked the nurses if he could see the doctor for just a minute and ask his questions about chemo, and express his concerns.
One nurse said to him, "Could you ask the nurse your questions, and then if she feels she needs to, she could consult the doctor?"
He politely said, "I think these are questions for the doctor" (because they dealt with quantity of chemicals in chemo and his extreme increase in paleness and sickness and some prescription requests.)
Well, they told us to wait in an exam room, and soon, in rushed the doctor with a clearly upset attitude, shut the door behind her, and she made it instantly clear that she was quite angry at Bill for bothering her.
We were, to say the least, shocked!
She explained in angry tones and with an angry facial expression that "this better be quick because I am VERY busy, I DON'T have a lot of time" and "in the future, you take these things up with the nurses, not with ME, because I am TOO busy for this!"
We were so shocked that we simply looked down at our list and read it as fast as possible, then I apologized about 10 times (I have really big issues when someone is hostile, and I can't stand for someone to be mad, so I automatically apologized profusely even though we had NOTHING to apologize for.)
So outcome: this BUSY doctor finished lecturing Bill (she oddly had plenty of time to add in that gratuitous lecture time before even listening to his questions) and then flew out of the room in her anger, talked to a nurse, they called in two prescriptions for him, and that was that.
Bill actually cracked a JOKE during the "crime and punishment" scene. When the oncologist said, "I don't have a lot of time," Bill said, "Whew. Glad that statement was about you and not about me." She didn't laugh. AT ALL. Her eyebrows were up, her eyes were wide, she was VERY angry the whole time.
WOW!
By about 8 pm, back at home, I was still upset. I said to Bill, "I'm still upset about that doctor. Are you?"
He said, "Nope. I just let it go."
I said, "How do you just let it go? I feel so mad at her. I can TRY to let it go but nothing happens. I still feel mad at her and like we were really unjustly treated."
He just laughed. "I just don't think about it!"
I have so much to learn from him.
And as you can see from the content of this post--it's the next morning, and I'm STILL mad at her! I guess I better try a lot harder to let that thing go...
He asked the nurses if he could see the doctor for just a minute and ask his questions about chemo, and express his concerns.
One nurse said to him, "Could you ask the nurse your questions, and then if she feels she needs to, she could consult the doctor?"
He politely said, "I think these are questions for the doctor" (because they dealt with quantity of chemicals in chemo and his extreme increase in paleness and sickness and some prescription requests.)
Well, they told us to wait in an exam room, and soon, in rushed the doctor with a clearly upset attitude, shut the door behind her, and she made it instantly clear that she was quite angry at Bill for bothering her.
We were, to say the least, shocked!
She explained in angry tones and with an angry facial expression that "this better be quick because I am VERY busy, I DON'T have a lot of time" and "in the future, you take these things up with the nurses, not with ME, because I am TOO busy for this!"
We were so shocked that we simply looked down at our list and read it as fast as possible, then I apologized about 10 times (I have really big issues when someone is hostile, and I can't stand for someone to be mad, so I automatically apologized profusely even though we had NOTHING to apologize for.)
So outcome: this BUSY doctor finished lecturing Bill (she oddly had plenty of time to add in that gratuitous lecture time before even listening to his questions) and then flew out of the room in her anger, talked to a nurse, they called in two prescriptions for him, and that was that.
Bill actually cracked a JOKE during the "crime and punishment" scene. When the oncologist said, "I don't have a lot of time," Bill said, "Whew. Glad that statement was about you and not about me." She didn't laugh. AT ALL. Her eyebrows were up, her eyes were wide, she was VERY angry the whole time.
WOW!
By about 8 pm, back at home, I was still upset. I said to Bill, "I'm still upset about that doctor. Are you?"
He said, "Nope. I just let it go."
I said, "How do you just let it go? I feel so mad at her. I can TRY to let it go but nothing happens. I still feel mad at her and like we were really unjustly treated."
He just laughed. "I just don't think about it!"
I have so much to learn from him.
And as you can see from the content of this post--it's the next morning, and I'm STILL mad at her! I guess I better try a lot harder to let that thing go...
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Wednesday: A Touch of the Blues and What's a "Double Whammy"?
Bill says nothing is new. He is feeling the same, not great, but functional, and in my humble op, he's at least a little bit better than he has been.
He's teaching today. (Ain't he sumthin?)
And tomorrow, Thursday, he wants to speak to his oncologist about his future with chemotherapy. He is thinking that maybe it's too strong, or that he needs a break. He isn't thinking of stopping it altogether, but he is feeling overwhelmed by it, and that something needs to change because he doesn't feel he can continue like this. That's how bad it's been!
In general, it's kind of a, ummmmm, maybe melancholy is the word? day for us. We're battling a second disaster (not about our physical health, at least, thank God, or finances, or anything like that) that struck us in late December and about which I haven't posted, and won't ever be able to post, due to its nature. But apart from Bill's health, it's the second worst thing that has ever happened to us. Kind of like a tsunami on top of an earthquake, but only metaphorically, of course, as nothing should be compared to the suffering of the Japanese people.
Anyway, there. I mentioned it. I don't mean to whine. I just think there's something great about truth, and now you've got our whole picture: we're tromping through a double whammy*.
Now you wish you'd skipped reading this and had that root canal, don't you? Cheered you right up, didn't I?
*grin* Oh well. This too shall pass.
Love,
Your cowpokes (*see below for the history of the term "double whammy" if you're horrifically bored and desperate to fill the next minute with useless information.)
*Double Whammy: History of the term (from a website)
Double whammy
Meaning: A double blow or setback.
Origin
A whammy was originally an evil influence or hex. It originated in the USA in the 1940s and is associated with a variety of sports. The first reference to it in print that I can find is in the Syracuse Herald Journal, October 1939:
"Nobody would have suspected that the baseball gods had put the whammy on Myers and Ernie when the ninth opened."
double whammy'Double whammy' emerged not long afterwards, as seen here in the Oakland Tribune, August 1941, in an interview with the eccentric boxing manager Wirt Ross:
"Shore there's only one way to beat Joe Louis ... No man can lick 'im, it takes a syndicate and that's what I got. I've been taking a course in hypnotism from the famous Professor Hoffmeister of Pennsylvania. When I gave my big police dog the evil eye like this he liked to collapse, went out and nearly got himself killed by the neighbour's pet poodle pooch. Professor Hoffmeister says I don't get the double whammy to put on human beings until Lesson 9."
Ross was well-known for his tall tales and flowery language. It is quite possible that he coined the term in that interview.
'Double whammy' is often associated with Al Capp's Li'l Abner cartoon strip, which featured the phrase several times. In that it referred to as an intense stare which had a withering effect on its victims. ---by Anna at Yahoo! Answers
He's teaching today. (Ain't he sumthin?)
And tomorrow, Thursday, he wants to speak to his oncologist about his future with chemotherapy. He is thinking that maybe it's too strong, or that he needs a break. He isn't thinking of stopping it altogether, but he is feeling overwhelmed by it, and that something needs to change because he doesn't feel he can continue like this. That's how bad it's been!
In general, it's kind of a, ummmmm, maybe melancholy is the word? day for us. We're battling a second disaster (not about our physical health, at least, thank God, or finances, or anything like that) that struck us in late December and about which I haven't posted, and won't ever be able to post, due to its nature. But apart from Bill's health, it's the second worst thing that has ever happened to us. Kind of like a tsunami on top of an earthquake, but only metaphorically, of course, as nothing should be compared to the suffering of the Japanese people.
Anyway, there. I mentioned it. I don't mean to whine. I just think there's something great about truth, and now you've got our whole picture: we're tromping through a double whammy*.
Now you wish you'd skipped reading this and had that root canal, don't you? Cheered you right up, didn't I?
*grin* Oh well. This too shall pass.
Love,
Your cowpokes (*see below for the history of the term "double whammy" if you're horrifically bored and desperate to fill the next minute with useless information.)
*Double Whammy: History of the term (from a website)
Double whammy
Meaning: A double blow or setback.
Origin
A whammy was originally an evil influence or hex. It originated in the USA in the 1940s and is associated with a variety of sports. The first reference to it in print that I can find is in the Syracuse Herald Journal, October 1939:
"Nobody would have suspected that the baseball gods had put the whammy on Myers and Ernie when the ninth opened."
double whammy'Double whammy' emerged not long afterwards, as seen here in the Oakland Tribune, August 1941, in an interview with the eccentric boxing manager Wirt Ross:
"Shore there's only one way to beat Joe Louis ... No man can lick 'im, it takes a syndicate and that's what I got. I've been taking a course in hypnotism from the famous Professor Hoffmeister of Pennsylvania. When I gave my big police dog the evil eye like this he liked to collapse, went out and nearly got himself killed by the neighbour's pet poodle pooch. Professor Hoffmeister says I don't get the double whammy to put on human beings until Lesson 9."
Ross was well-known for his tall tales and flowery language. It is quite possible that he coined the term in that interview.
'Double whammy' is often associated with Al Capp's Li'l Abner cartoon strip, which featured the phrase several times. In that it referred to as an intense stare which had a withering effect on its victims. ---by Anna at Yahoo! Answers
Monday, March 21, 2011
Monday: He went to work
He was tired and is having trouble, every night, with not sleeping, due to a burning esophagus, but he went to work today, anyway. Of course he did! That's how he is...
I'll write more tomorrow. He isn't home from work yet, and I don't know how his day went, but I am going to guess that it was kinda tough.
Love to all...oh, and yes, First Samuel actually IS a great book. I was goofing around in the last post when I wrote all those zzzzzzzzzzzzz's. (You know me. Bill didn't want me dissing his favorite book in the Old Testament. Therefore I simply HAD to! *grin*)
I'll write more tomorrow. He isn't home from work yet, and I don't know how his day went, but I am going to guess that it was kinda tough.
Love to all...oh, and yes, First Samuel actually IS a great book. I was goofing around in the last post when I wrote all those zzzzzzzzzzzzz's. (You know me. Bill didn't want me dissing his favorite book in the Old Testament. Therefore I simply HAD to! *grin*)
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Saturday: Feelin' the Chemo
I said to Bill, "How about you dictate the blog today, and explain how you feel?"
Bill said, "Nah, don't wanna dictate anything."
But then he said the following, so I secretly typed it out as he was saying it, tricking him into dictating. Oh, the lengths we go to for amusement here on weekends these days. ;)
Bill: Really feeling the chemicals today. Metal mouth, eNORRRRRRRmous fatigue, dizziness, and just a wiped-out feeling. No church tomorrow. Just resting and reading 1 Samuel.
Me: Why First Samuel?
Bill: I wanted to get caught up on Samuel, Saul, David, Jonathan, not to mention Goliath of Gath. It's all there.
Me: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh! Yeah, that sounds really...um....very....extremely fascinating! That made a great post! Thanks!
(Well that was a real knee-slapper of a post. Next time maybe I'll listen when he says he doesn't wanna dictate.)
Seriously, love to all! And special thanks to Marc Seals for his sacrificial support today (and today ONLY!) for the Florida Gators.
Bill said, "Nah, don't wanna dictate anything."
But then he said the following, so I secretly typed it out as he was saying it, tricking him into dictating. Oh, the lengths we go to for amusement here on weekends these days. ;)
Bill: Really feeling the chemicals today. Metal mouth, eNORRRRRRRmous fatigue, dizziness, and just a wiped-out feeling. No church tomorrow. Just resting and reading 1 Samuel.
Me: Why First Samuel?
Bill: I wanted to get caught up on Samuel, Saul, David, Jonathan, not to mention Goliath of Gath. It's all there.
Me: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh! Yeah, that sounds really...um....very....extremely fascinating! That made a great post! Thanks!
(Well that was a real knee-slapper of a post. Next time maybe I'll listen when he says he doesn't wanna dictate.)
Seriously, love to all! And special thanks to Marc Seals for his sacrificial support today (and today ONLY!) for the Florida Gators.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Thursday: Okee Dokee
Billy the Heroic Cowboy muscled his way through Wednesday classes. EVEN THOUGH he had to take a WALKER along--like the real kind of walker like this:
OOPS! NO, WAIT, WRONG KIND OF WALKER. HERE WE GO, BELOW:
Next time, he is considering asking for a wheelchair so he wouldn't have to walk at all.
He might need a little practice with that one, though.
There are some mighty steep hills on that campus. And when I take into account those hills, his unfamiliarity with wheelchairs, and his ability to focus on a book and block out all the rest of reality, I can picture our cowboy flying down a campus hillside about 100 miles an hour, taking out ASU students left and right, and ending up in the middle of 321--staring serenely into space, thinking about his upcoming Beowulf lecture.
Anyway, catastrophizing aside, we have a 10 am appointment at Chemo World, and he is scheduled to get the small drugs today, M&V. I'll post about that later today.
Thank you for praying him through this week. I'm sure it's the only way he did so much.
Love, love, love.
OOPS! NO, WAIT, WRONG KIND OF WALKER. HERE WE GO, BELOW:
Next time, he is considering asking for a wheelchair so he wouldn't have to walk at all.
He might need a little practice with that one, though.
There are some mighty steep hills on that campus. And when I take into account those hills, his unfamiliarity with wheelchairs, and his ability to focus on a book and block out all the rest of reality, I can picture our cowboy flying down a campus hillside about 100 miles an hour, taking out ASU students left and right, and ending up in the middle of 321--staring serenely into space, thinking about his upcoming Beowulf lecture.
Anyway, catastrophizing aside, we have a 10 am appointment at Chemo World, and he is scheduled to get the small drugs today, M&V. I'll post about that later today.
Thank you for praying him through this week. I'm sure it's the only way he did so much.
Love, love, love.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Bill's Better
Bill made it through his teaching until 6 pm yesterday, which was nothing short of heroic. He said his students were wonderful, helping distribute handouts, and even running a projector for him so he didn't have to get out of his chair. When they saw his color, they were probably scared to say no to any request he had!
When I picked him up at his office, he just sort of collapsed into the car, and I got him home, and he was asleep almost immediately.
This morning, Tuesday, he is still remaining in a reclined position all day (on the living room sofa right now--an improvement from being constantly in bed), but is doing okay.
His latest new trouble is that he seems to have pulled his back when he moved his foot yesterday, and now the back pain is worse than the chemo symptoms. Plus he is having more trouble with nausea.
Other than that, we're just doing our Tuesday the best we can.
Thank you for caring and praying and sending him good thoughts!
When I picked him up at his office, he just sort of collapsed into the car, and I got him home, and he was asleep almost immediately.
This morning, Tuesday, he is still remaining in a reclined position all day (on the living room sofa right now--an improvement from being constantly in bed), but is doing okay.
His latest new trouble is that he seems to have pulled his back when he moved his foot yesterday, and now the back pain is worse than the chemo symptoms. Plus he is having more trouble with nausea.
Other than that, we're just doing our Tuesday the best we can.
Thank you for caring and praying and sending him good thoughts!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Day of Worry
Despite being THIS close to tossing his cookies, and despite being white as a picket fence, and despite being unable to walk more than ten steps without catching his breath, AND (you thought I was finished!) despite being so ill that he lost EIGHT POUNDS in 48 hours, that crazy cowboy WENT to the University today to teach his classes.
He couldn't even drive there! I drove him! And I tried to perfectly balance (a) the expression of my opinion that he should stay home; with (b) taking his "no" for an answer.
The last view I had of him, he was walking very slowly toward his office, slightly hunched over, and holding on to a chain link fence beside him for support, as all the students hurried past him. I saw him pull the shoulder strap of his heavy backpack to the side so the strap wouldn't bang into his still-not-completely-healed-port bandage.
Now all I can do is stare at the phone, hoping it rings, asking me to come get him and bring him home and put him to bed with some chocolate Ensure to sip and the kisses of three puppies for his nose and fluffy pillows for his head.
I feel so sad for him today.
He couldn't even drive there! I drove him! And I tried to perfectly balance (a) the expression of my opinion that he should stay home; with (b) taking his "no" for an answer.
The last view I had of him, he was walking very slowly toward his office, slightly hunched over, and holding on to a chain link fence beside him for support, as all the students hurried past him. I saw him pull the shoulder strap of his heavy backpack to the side so the strap wouldn't bang into his still-not-completely-healed-port bandage.
Now all I can do is stare at the phone, hoping it rings, asking me to come get him and bring him home and put him to bed with some chocolate Ensure to sip and the kisses of three puppies for his nose and fluffy pillows for his head.
I feel so sad for him today.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Feelin' Po'ly
Not sure how you spell it, but "poorly" is sometimes pronounced "po'ly" in this part of the Deep South wherein we doth reside.
That said, our cowboy Willie is and was and has been feelin po'ly allllllllllllll weekend long. Very, VERY po'ly indeed.
Thanks for your prayers. But he and I both ask, if you only have a little bit of prayers to give, send them up instead for the poor souls in Japan whose suffering is probably unimaginable.
Love to all.
B&B
That said, our cowboy Willie is and was and has been feelin po'ly allllllllllllll weekend long. Very, VERY po'ly indeed.
Thanks for your prayers. But he and I both ask, if you only have a little bit of prayers to give, send them up instead for the poor souls in Japan whose suffering is probably unimaginable.
Love to all.
B&B
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