READ THIS POST BACKWARDS (not really)

Oh. My. Gosh.

You might as WELL read the post backwards--and I don't even know what that means, read a post backwards--but at this point, I don't know what ANYTHING means, so yeah, go ahead and read it backwards.

Because THIS WILL MAKE AS MUCH SENSE TO YOU IF YOU READ IT BACKWARDS AS IT WOULD IF YOU READ IT FORWARD.

WHICH IS NONE AT ALL. ZIP. ZERO. NADA.

UNBELIEVABLY ****WEIRD****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I in a Fellini movie? Has God left the building and has some teen-aged vandal on crack taken over the controls and made a practical joke out of our entire lives?

Okay.

THEY LET BILL GO HOME TODAY.

Wait. Did they run any more tests on him? NO.

To see if he could survive if he walked more than 20 steps? NO.

To see if his body had ever even HEARD of white cells? NO.

To see if he was better? NO.

Did they give him any treatments after making him stay in the hospital another night and day? NO.

Did anyone mention any of the stuff Dr. Braun said the night before? NO.

They just LET HIM GO HOME, and rolled him to the door with all his stuff, and BOOM. I'M in charge of him now!

He can't walk, can't breathe, is deathly white (sorry, Bill, but that's the only color adjective that fits today), can't stop coughing, can't eat, is completely nauseated, couldn't even carry one bag in from the car, can't sit up, can't stay awake, looks like something out of a teen horror movie, and feels absolutely WRETCHED.

And he's home.

What in the wide, wide world of sports is going ON?

And if that wasn't enough, my car is broken, my drains in my house are stopped up suddenly, to the point that we can't use the water except briefly, we still live in the basement with no stove or fridge, China (the country) forgot to ship one of our cabinets and now they can't install them till April 26th, and, oh, there must be some more...oh, someone whose young name I won't mention....and for whom I--with parental love and trust--co-signed a car loan way back in 2006, has announced that said person is no longer able to pay said car loan and told the collection agency they'd have to collect it all from "his Mom, the co-signer", because he is "out of options" so in the midst of all this, now I personally have to come up with 8 THOUSAND DOLLARS IMMEDIATELY or have liens put on my cars, bank accounts and house. Yeah, that JUST happened, too. Pretty cool timing, wouldn't you say? [THIS JUST IN! OH MY GOODNESS! SOMEONE JUST WROTE AND OFFERED TO HELP US WITH THE 8 THOUSAND DOLLARS! I DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE IT SOUND LIKE WE DON'T HAVE THE 8 THOUSAND DOLLARS. BY GOD'S GRACE, WE DO HAVE IT, AND DON'T NEED HELP, BUT THIS JUST SHOWS YOU WHAT KIND OF ANGELIC SOULS THERE ARE OUT THERE IN THE WORLD! THEY ARE PRAYING FOR US AT THEIR CHURCH AND WILLING TO DO ANYTHING TO HELP. OH, MAN. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. BILL SAID I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT THAT IN ABOUT THE 8 THOUSAND DOLLARS, BUT I THOUGHT IT HELPED PAINT THE TOTAL PICTURE OF THE TRAGI-COMEDIC NATURE OF THIS CRAZY TIME PERIOD! OH, PERSON WHO MADE THAT OFFER, MAY GOD BLESS YOU A THOUSAND TIMES FOR BEING SO UNBELIEVABLY GENEROUS. WE REALLY ARE OKAY, THOUGH. BUT THANK YOU!]

There must be a few more things I'm not thinking of, but Bill is coughing up spleen parts right now, so it's hard to think, and the dogs are barking, and I believe I hear the laughter of a teenaged vandal on crack coming from the control booth.

DEAR GOD: HALP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME BACK! WE MISS YOU!

Love, and just kidding about God. I know it's all going to turn out just rosy. But you gotta admit......