"I Mad You Lovely."

Bill is still at Duke.

Emma flew in from Wisconsin and is staying in Durham, taking care of him in the hospital like I was doing.

I finally fell apart emotionally Friday night and had to come home. It all hit me at once, and what a blessing I held together until Emma arrived. I came back to Blowing Rock early this morning, got my crying and hysterics out of the way alone, on the road, and let the reality of the whole thing begin to really sink in. So now I'm resting intensely until Emma brings him home, whenever that may be, and I'll be ready to pick up taking care of him here.

His status: They just don't know what is going on. His pain is better, but he still has terrible cramps.

He still isn't allowed to even sip water, is being fed intravenously, clear sugar/salt water.

They're testing him for lots of things, including the dreaded C-Diff, the new hospital-acquired superbacteria. They DO know that his kidneys are not functioning exactly right, and his white count is high, but they can't find the infection.

He feels relatively peaceful, but looks absolutely exhausted and drained and thin. And so yellow.

As he and I like to say to each other, "What a long, strange trip it has been," an old hippie quote, I think.

We talk by phone now, and as we were hanging up today, I said, "Remember that I love you madly."

He said, "I mad you lovely."

"Did you mean to say that?"

"Yep."

"You are the funniest man I've ever known. I mad you lovely, too."

And I do.

Happy Easter/Blessed Pascha.